I have mostly enjoyed the General Motors line-up. I’m not a
die-hard GM fan like some of the men you see driving their Silverados with the
little guy urinating on the Ford symbol. But my father owned a Camaro, I’ve
owned a Camaro, I’ve owned a Pontiac and I think that the General does a good
job overall.
As such, I watched the Pontiac G8 develop into an excellent
car with a significant level of excitement. Some car mags called the G8 GXP an
M3 killer, and to someone who was rooting for the old red arrow division, that
got my pulse going.
But then GM announced that it was putting Pontiac out to
pasture all together and I think a little part of me died. It was like in a
movie where they shut the lights off in a room slowly—set by set—and the main
character is left in the final light before the whole screen cuts to black.
My beloved G8, after only two model years was lost to the
annals of a once great company.
Fast forward to the announcement that the G8 would
essentially be back, but wearing a bowtie on the front. My heart was brought
out of arrest with a jolt of hope and electricity. The car would be Chevy’s
first return to a rear-drive platform since the mid 1990’s Caprice and Impala
SS adventure. Not only that, but Mark Reuss was having a hand in the project—a man
who admittedly loved the G8. I expected the new car to be the G8 but even
better! There were rumors that it would get the new Corvette LT1 and a
six-speed manual plus a bunch of tech upgrades that the G8 never could have
imagined.
As more details were announced, however, my eagerness waned.
And now, my dear readers, I would like to complain a bit.
First off, the name. Chevy SS. Are you kidding me? Does
anyone else remember the last thing that Chevy made in which they employed
their legendary trim level indicator in the name? The SSR, you say? Yes, you’re
right. That confused, LSx powered, convertible bubble truck that sold just one
more unit than I could hold in my hand and to this day makes me smack my open
palm on the entirety of my face in disgust every time that I see one. That car
sullied the good mojo of the SS idea.
But it’s not just that, it’s the fact that SS has always
BEEN a trim level. Sure it’s associated with being sportier and more fun than
any other trim level, but it’s always symbolized that it’s a different TRIM
LEVEL, not a different car. I wouldn’t have cared if they had put any other
name in front of the SS—it could have been Rainbow SS and I would have been happier
than I am now (though I think they could have done well with a Caprice SS or
even an Impala SS).
And it’s a bit plain. I mean, for a $44,000+, LSx powered
car, I would have hoped for a bit more aggression. I understand that the G8
base and GT were not very aggressive
looking cars, but the GXP was. Give us something to drool over. Maybe an
appearance package for those of us who want to drive something that isn’t quite
a sleeper.
That’s another thing. According to Car and Driver, there
will be two options: a power sunroof at $900 and a full-size spare at $500.
When you’re looking at the options sheet at the dealership, don’t worry. It’s
not you who Chevy thinks is completely incapable of making good decisions about
improving your driving experience—they think that about all of their SS
customers.
I like the interior, I think, but there’s no manual transmission and there’s no
Corvette-sourced LT1. Don’t worry, instead of a better engine and a slushbox you get Chevrolet MyLink, a color heads
up display, heated seats, and park assist. So, essentially, five model years
have passed since the G8’s last hurrah and there have been no advancements to
the engine (the G8 GXP had the same LS3), a step backward in transmission
options (the G8 GXP had the flappy-paddle gearbox and a proper 6-speed manual)
and, in my opinion, a worse exterior. Chevy is hoping that you’ll ignore all of
that, though, when you’re being pampered by your heated seats and Bose sound
system.
The best part, of course, will be when you’re driving off
the lot in your new S.S. Confused and see a Camaro 2SS staring you right in the
eyes—fully loaded with the same LS3 and a manual transmission plus all of the
attitude you could ever want for about $7000 less.
I have my own issues with the Camaro, but you get the point.
If it’s all about the extra set of doors for you, then go for it. Otherwise,
there are other options **cough, cough used Cadillac CTS-V**, in my opinion,
that may suit you better. At the very least, I would recommend that you don’t
go out and buy one right away. I feel like we might see Chevrolet shift the LT1
into the “SS” in a potentially detuned iteration (maybe called LT4 just to
comprehensively confuse everyone who remembers the LTx stratification from the
90’s).
If this car evolves into something else, which it might when
production shifts from Down Under to the United States, it could be amazing.
But for right now I’m not holding my breath.
